At long last I had the chance to watch Womb Raider… what am I talking about had the chance… it was the first friggen thing on my agenda for the night after getting home.

Let me just say Womb Raiding is nothing like this:

Its more like this:

So after getting home from work, picking up a bucket of chicken, a few 24 oz bears and a Van Halen sized tube of lube, I was ready to watch Womb Raider.

I have to say it was nothing like what I thought it would be. It wasn’t horrible but it sure wasn’t great. It was just a notch below the scrambled porn I would stay up late to watch in JR high.

This film is fun for a laugh and getting drunk and not much else… let just say I still have a full bottle of Van Halen sized lube and Ill be able to walk just fine. There were some quality jokes (“That was a big bite!” and the dead guy named “Indiana”) and tons… let me repeat, TONS!!!! of boobies. Like every second there was a boob. Not just any ole boring dry boob but soaked boobs. In the deserts of Arabia … soaked boobies. In the jungles of Africa… soaked boobies. In the mountains of Asia… soaked boobies. In Cara Lofts own back yard… you guessed it soaked boobs! I have to hand it to the filmmakers for finding some interesting ways to soak a boob.

Other than that, the story was kinda weak, but it did go by fast. The acting was well… lets just not call it acting cause I don’t know what it was… orgasms were super fake and there was no way at those angles… well… never mind.

Overall fun softcore lesbian porn never hurt anyone.

I give this film 3 24oz beers out of 5 cause that’s how many it took me to finish watching it.

Next film… The Breastford Wives.