Category: brolog


If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I’d pour all my love onto you.


Yeah, we all pretty much knew who Ira Glass was for a while, but then when he gets his TV show, we’re all like wow, he looks just like Mo Rocca, which is, umm, who cares…

BUT! From what I’ve seen on the side of a bus, ominous news is coming. Somehow someone recently went from squeakily looking like this to lazily looking like that:

Unlike the NPR and VH1 pedigrees of these predecessors, despite its eponymous “I”, the IFC is not nearly indie enough to counterbalance all those former years at MTV. Thus, Gideon Yago is obviously a tool, and the Ira Glass thing is now “a look”. And, I’m not suggesting that any white guy in black rimmed glasses and shaggy dark fair would look like that. I mean, look at Rivers Cuomo for instance. See? No, it’s a look that is somehow being cultivated.

Yeah, this is bad news…

(also, these dudes are all each about a decade apart from each other… I’m kinda freaked out)

Brodistick… did you take a free drink from a Polish man… and get a ticket???
thanks for the tip…

So when I heard about Christain Bale’s totally brosome flip out I was eagerly awaiting the day that someone would remix it… After going through a few of these mixes the winner is:

The Runner Up:

So I am going to start posting cool stuff going on every week. obviously, I am not going to list every single event happening in NYC but look at these as highlights… or… dare i say… BRO-lights of the week.

2-4-09 edition

Open Mic/Jam Night
Date: Wednesday, February 4th
Time: 8:30pm
Where: Production Lounge 113 Franklin Street Greenpoint, Brooklyn (off the Greenpoint G Train)
Cost: Free
Fun times good music interesting people coming and going. Hell I might even get up, sing a song or two, play an instrument… I’ll be the.

The NYC Facebook Meet and Greet
Date: Thursday, February 5th – Friday, February 6th
Time: 6:00pm
Where: Negril Village 70 West 3rd Street New York, NY
Cost: Free
Not really sure if this is a winner but hey… it could be interesting to check out and meet people that you stalk online on The Facebook.

Date: Thursday, February 5th
Time: 7:10pm
Where: Movements Afoot 151 West 30th Street, 2nd Floor New York, NY
Cost: Free
Great place to meet single ladies… Right? Right? Right?

BOB MARLEY Birthday Tribute
When: Thursday, February5
Time: 10:00pm
Where: Sutra Lounge 16 First Ave New York, NY
Cost: Free
A tribute to the original buffalo solider… not that fake one… That’s just what the doctor ordered … might be worth popping in for…

$ex After The Crash
Date: Friday, February 6th
Time: 7:00pm
Location: KGB Bar (85 East 4th Street)
Cost: Free
An open discussion about the lives of sex workers in our current economic downturn… Hey maybe you can find out how to get free sex … or better, sex for food!!!

D.W.T.N-w/Guest DJs:The National, Blonde Redhead +
When: Friday, February 6th
Time: 8:00pm
Where: Stanton Public 17 Stanton St, New York, NY
Cost: Free / RSVP ONLY
Free Blonde Redhead and Yeasayer show and open bar from 8-10? … I don’t think I have to explain how there I am.

Panty Raid
Date: Friday, February 6th
Time: 10:00pm
Location: Savalas 285 Bedford Ave, W’burg
Cost: Free
I think the Title says it all but I might personally pass on this one just cause… free Yeasayer and Blonde Redhead show at Stanton Public… need I say more?

When: Saturday, February 7th
Time: 10:00pm
Cost: FREE B4 1AM
Why would I recommend this even? Well I think if you add up all the ingredients you begin to see a sexy time acookin. Hott girls + Free Booze + Classy Club = the ultimate bro-sperience aka WILL GET LAID (maybe… see below)

Kings of Karaoke w/ Mucho Macho & Not So Macho
When Saturday, February 7th
Time: 11:55pm
Where: Trash Bar 256 Grande St. Williamsburg, NY
Cost: Free
This seems like a great after hours place to go if all fails at the BFF Casting party and you find yourself singing the blues… I might end up here L

Shayni Rae’s Truckstop
When: Monday, February 9th
Time: 9:00pm
Where: The National Underground 159 E. Houston NY, NY
Cost: Free
Good Music to calm the hangover of the weekend… something about southern rock and acoustic music just makes sense

When: Tuesday, February 10th
Time: 7:00pm
Where: Royal Oak 594 Union Ave Brooklyn, NY
Cost: Free
Something to do on a Tuesday night not sure how much bro-ing could be done here…

Total Bro Loss!

The saddest of the sads right now, bros, the woest of woes…

We might remember how David Wells pitched a perfect game while he was drunk or hungover or something normal like that about 10 years ago, but that’s nothing compared to how Dock Ellis pitched a no-hitter while on acid in 1970.

And of course a couple of years later, just to prove a point he tried to hit every single member of the Cincinnati Reds, and was somehow not pulled until after FIVE batters. I mean, who among us has ever held a baseball and not thought about how flipping sweet it would be to throw it 90mph at every member of the Cincinnati Reds? I wish I could do that all the time…

And now, he is gone. Lame is the sports world without him… He died of cirrhosis of all things, and god bless America, he didn’t have health insurance. Vat a country!

As a side note, how awesome is how his name appears in a boxscore, “Ellis, D”… say it outloud, now… yup, a truly badass bro. Definitely a spot for him up in Bro Pitcher Heaven right next to Tug McGraw

At long last I had the chance to watch Womb Raider… what am I talking about had the chance… it was the first friggen thing on my agenda for the night after getting home.

Let me just say Womb Raiding is nothing like this:

Its more like this:

So after getting home from work, picking up a bucket of chicken, a few 24 oz bears and a Van Halen sized tube of lube, I was ready to watch Womb Raider.

I have to say it was nothing like what I thought it would be. It wasn’t horrible but it sure wasn’t great. It was just a notch below the scrambled porn I would stay up late to watch in JR high.

This film is fun for a laugh and getting drunk and not much else… let just say I still have a full bottle of Van Halen sized lube and Ill be able to walk just fine. There were some quality jokes (“That was a big bite!” and the dead guy named “Indiana”) and tons… let me repeat, TONS!!!! of boobies. Like every second there was a boob. Not just any ole boring dry boob but soaked boobs. In the deserts of Arabia … soaked boobies. In the jungles of Africa… soaked boobies. In the mountains of Asia… soaked boobies. In Cara Lofts own back yard… you guessed it soaked boobs! I have to hand it to the filmmakers for finding some interesting ways to soak a boob.

Other than that, the story was kinda weak, but it did go by fast. The acting was well… lets just not call it acting cause I don’t know what it was… orgasms were super fake and there was no way at those angles… well… never mind.

Overall fun softcore lesbian porn never hurt anyone.

I give this film 3 24oz beers out of 5 cause that’s how many it took me to finish watching it.

Next film… The Breastford Wives.


Today’s No Bro goes to…. Susan Cheever. Thats right… SUSAN CHEEVER!!!!!

Why, you might ask, is she today’s NO BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well read what she wrote here and all of your many questions will be answered. However, if you are feeling lazy… I’ll just give you a quick run down of what she has to say.

She opens her article with a story about a party that she went to 10 years ago where a really dunk couple stumbled home. The rest of her article talks about how no one drinks in New York as much as they used to, TEN YEARS AGO! . she says that its due to the changing social norms of the city…

ehem, listen lady ten years ago you were probably young and bangable. now you might be old and have no clue what you are talking about. To quote Michelle from the times comments section:

“The reason you no longer see people getting falling down drunk is that you’re ten years older.

Go to the post-college bars on the upper west and east side or the NYU bars downtown and you’ll see the drinking-life going strong in New York.

That said, it’s terrible your friends make you feel bad about not drinking. They seem to be the ones that need to grow up.”

— Michelle T”

Thats why Susan Cheever gets the NO BRO!

Though this weeks runners up were the sick fucks know as Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs aka 3 guys1 hammer.


Yeah so I had a weekend… yep thats what we will call it.

Aside from bro-ing out to the max I cant believe I missed The Meat Puppets in concert this past weekend!! They are totally awesome and it saddens my bro-being to know that i didnt know that they were playing this weekend.

Some totally BROTACULAR news came in this morning… brace yourselves… brace yourselves thats right… MC Hammer is making a comeback!!!

As a complimentary piece to oldest spider web in the history of mankind! Really, the only brorific part of this story is that it was found in prehistoric amber. Jurassic Park anyone? anyone?

BROTOS from teh weekendz:

up and down from poisson rouge on bleecker friday night

The way i felt this weekend.


New late night subway buddies

So I have been needing to update my netflix and my blog for awhile… really i just need to turn in the 3 movies that I have had for like 2 months. Back to the point though, I was on netflix and found a film called Womb Raiders.

I think this my be the broest thing that has ever happened in my entire brolife!!!!11111oneoneone.

Synopsis of the film:
” This erotic, Indiana Jones-style spoof follows the incredible adventures of “Womb Raider” Cara Loft (Lauren Hays), who’s hired by the infamous Dr. Scrotus (Roland Lanza) to search the world for a mysterious treasure. Along the way, she locks lips — and hips — with a dizzying lineup of beautiful women, including buxom blonde Antoinette Abbott. Nudity abounds (the scene involving the water canteen is unforgettable).

Ok so I think im going to netflix this Brotally Brosome Film and review it for the members of the Brolog.